Jade West and the Gang in: Operation Cooper
by superzombiedestroyer123
Summary: Jade is a world class master thief; Tori is an international police officer tasked with bringing her to justice. What happens when black and white bleed into gray?
1. Chapter 1

**WHAT'S UP, BITCHES**

 **Just kidding. That's not how I start my stories.**

 **Now that I have your attention, hello! My name is superzombiedestroyer123 (I went through a phase. It was...interesting), and I have so many incomplete stories that it hurts my brain to think about. I have ADD, and my mind jumps subjects easily. For the time being, it's on Sly Cooper and Victorious!**

 **Now, something to note would be that this has already been done by StakeTheHeart, who wrote On The Sly, which I highly recommend. It's a great story, and a perfect blend of the first three Sly games.**

 **I also bring up On The Sly, because this story may seem similar to it. I assure you, I can think of my own plots, I swear, but I, like StakeTheHeart, want to try to sort of stick to the storyline of the Sly Collection. So, if it seems really similar, that's probably why.**

 **Now that I have that super long author's note out of the way, let's start!**

 **!**

"Sly? Come in, Sly!"

Jadelyn Elizabeth "Sly Cooper" West stood on the roof of Interpol's headquarters, the Paris branch, to be precise. The voice coming from the red pack on her thigh belonged to one of her two best friends, Robert Matthew "Bentley" Shapiro, who, at this point in time, seemed highly distressed.

Jade sighed, and reached a blue-gloved hand into her pack, pulling out her binocucom and bringing it up to her face.

"Yeah, Bentley?" She asked, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the Paris night. The gang used codenames when on missions, to ensure that nobody would know their true identities.

Robbie sounded relieved. "Just making sure you're okay. It's not every day that we break _into_ jail, you know."

Jade chuckled at that. "You're right. But this is long overdue, and I need that file."

He sighed. "I know, Sly. Which is why I called. According to these blueprints you stole from one of the officers, there should be a small vent across from the water tower you can use to enter."

Jade pushed a button on the side of the device, focusing in until she found the vent in question. She looked around, and found a way up.

"Alright, pal. I'll get back to you once I make it in."

A second voice, this time belonging to her other best friend, Andre Leon "Murray" Harris, cut in.

"Don't forget you've got me at the wheel, Sly. Just grab that file and meet us at the rendezvous point."

"Will do. Over and out."

She placed the binocucom back into her pack, and readjusted her blue beret, where her jet black hair was stored under in a tight bun, and grabbed her cane.

The cane was made of about 4 feet of polished wood, with a gold-looking hook shape taking up the final foot of the 5 foot object. The hook itself was made of titanium, while the shaft was made of Quebracho, one of the hardest woods in the world. It belonged to her father, and now, to her.

Jade shook her head, willing her memories to crawl back from where they came from. She walked up the incline to the side of the water tower, where she then slid along the side of it, coming to two large, rather unstable-looking antennae.

She paused, and looked around for any other means of getting to the air vent on the other side.

When no other means became apparent, she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with a gloved hand.

 _One of these days, I'm gonna end up breaking my neck_ , Jade thought to herself.

She jumped, and landed in the middle of the antennae, which began swaying wildly. She slowly stood, trying to balance herself in the middle, and jumped again.

This time, however, the second antennae nearly ripped her off, and she grabbed onto one of the prongs with her cane, pulling herself back up.

Jade quickly jumped to the roof, and breathed a sigh of relief.

She smacked the blade of her cane across the vent's cover, and crawled inside, mindful of any nails and dead insects that littered the vent system.

The thief came out onto a small ledge, and looked down, noticing a massive array of lasers waiting for her.

Bentley's voice filled the mic in her ear.

"Be careful when you go down! Those lasers are quite active, and _will_ burn you to a crisp."

"Thanks for the heads up, buddy." She replied, and looked for somewhere to jump too. A little below her platform and to the right was another ledge, one that looked a little unstable.

She jumped anyways, and landed on the ledge, feeling it immediately start to give way underneath her.

Jade jumped to the left, over a set of lasers, and onto another ledge, one that also gave way.

A few more jumps, and she was at the bottom, where she noticed that she was in an elevator shaft. She shoved one end of her cane in between the sliding doors, and pried them open, stepping out into the hallway.

"Nice job! The file your looking for is inside of Inspector Vega's office. It should be behind a red door." Bentley told her.

She nodded, though he couldn't see her, and crept silently throughout the headquarters, trying to find a red door.

After a few tense moments, she found it at the end of one of the winding hallways of the building, marked with a large star on the glass.

Jade tried the knob. Locked.

She looked to her right. A window led out onto a small ledge, from the looks of it used for gardening. She opened the window and crept out.

Jade slid along the edge of the building, where Inspector Vega's office window was. Gripping the side of the window, she slid the very edge of her cane under the window sill, pulling up to open it.

She landed deftly onto the floor, taking in her surroundings.

On her left was a simple couch, presumably for visitors to sit on, with books on either side. To the right of that, was an office desk and chair, with a large cork board above it. On the cork board were pictures of the thief, along with locations in the past month that she'd stolen from. To the right of that, was a safe, the words "Make It Shine" emblazoned on the front.

Jade went to the safe, kneeling down in front of it and pressing the communication device in her ear.

"Bentley? I'm at the safe."

"Alright. I've hacked into the security mainframe. Try 9-3-7."

Jade went to the left most knob, turning it until the dial read "9". She went to the middle, and dialed in "3". Then to the last, dialing in "7".

There was a soft 'click', as the mechanism unlocked, and she swung the door open, sifting through files until she got to one with a blurry picture of five menacing silhouettes clipped to the front.

Jade grabbed it, and produced her calling card from her pack, placing it inside.

She headed out of a different window, one that exited onto the fire escape, heading to the rendezvous point.

"You know, when I decided to stake out right outside of my office, I honestly thought you'd be smart enough not to show." A feminine voice said from the rooftop next to her.

Jade turned.

"Carmelita! What a pleasant surprise. I was worried you fell behind after I gave you the slip in Bombay." She replied, lowering the pitch of her voice.

The Latina crossed her arms. "That reminds me. You need to return the Fire Stone of India to its rightful owners."

Jade propped herself up on her cane. "And I was gonna give it to you as a token of my-" she notice the large gun in the police woman's hand "Hey! That bazooka really brings out the color of your eyes."

Carmelita smirked, holding it up to the moonlight.

"You think? It works a lot like a taser, and the paralyzing electric shock it'll give you may just be enough to knock you out of your criminal actions."

Jade pretended to be hurt. "And give up our little rendezvous?"

"Plenty of time for that once you're in jail."

"You know, I'd love to stay and chat, but I just dropped by to pick up a file. I think you've had it long enough."

Carmelita took aim, and fired at the blue clad thief.

Jade picked up her cane, and hooked it on the railing of the fire escape, swinging over the side of it and bracing her feet against it. She grabbed the railing with her right hand, and unhooked her cane from the rail, swinging to the floor below her.

She slid down two set of stairs, avoiding electric blasts, and landed next to the parking lot. Carmelita had made her way down her building's fire escape, as well, and sprinted across the street, firing at Jade.

Jade weaved in between parked cars, ducking and jumping to avoid being shocked, and neared the edge of the lot.

In the distance, she saw the back of her gang's van, with a large blue raccoon face painted on the back, and headed straight for it.

Robbie shoved the back doors open, and the van began to move. He held on to the handle on the inside with one hand, and held his other out to Jade.

As soon as she got near enough, Jade stuck out her cane, and Robbie grabbed it, pulling it, along with her, into the van.

The inspector fired a few more rounds, but they went harmlessly to the side as the van sped off.

Carmelita Victoria Montoya Vega ran a hand through her brown hair.

 _Shit_ , she thought. _My boss is gonna kill me_.

 **!**

Jade, now safe in the van, opened the file, reading through the contents.

Finally, after all these years, she'd finally found the file on the Fiendish Five, and with it, the revenge she'd been awaiting all these years.

 **!**

 **So that's that! Lemme know what you think in the reviews! I'll see ya next time!**


	2. Chapter 2(part 1)

**_Chapter 2_**

 ** _Flashback: 12 years ago_**

 _An eight year old Jade West bounced happily on her father's lap, giggling loudly at her father's tale of how he'd accidentally stolen from a party supply store instead of the bank next door. It was the night her father had decided that she was old enough to inherit his cane, and make it her own, as was tradition for thousands and thousands of years. It currently resided propped up against the armchair she and her father were occupying._

 _"So after the third or fourth time I thought there was a cop dressed as Sonic The Hedgehog, I realized-"_

 _A sharp knock on the front door stopped him mid-sentence._

 _Her mother looked out from the kitchen, and walked to the door, looking through the peep-hole._

 _"Jonathan? They're here." She said, unusually calm._

 _Her father's features changed from joy, to despair, to anger, then to grim determination._

 _He lifted Jade easily off of his lap, placing her onto the floor. He knelt down in front of her, and stroked her hair._

 _"Jade. Your mother and I love you very much."_

 _Jade's mother knelt beside him, and hugged her tight._

 _"So much, baby girl. Don't ever forget that."_

 _The knock continued, louder now._

 _"We need you to go to the hall closet with your cool new gadget and hide now, okay? Don't come out, no matter what. We want to play a game with some friends, and we need you to be very quiet for this." Her father explained._

 _Jade nodded. She didn't understand what was happening, but the tension in the air was apparent, even to her young mind._

 _The knocking grew louder, increasing to a banging. The door rattled on its hinges._

 _"Never forget who you are. You're a West. And that's something to be proud of." Her father had tears in his eyes, and Jade hugged him, trying to make them go away._

 _He hugged back tightly, not trying to hurt her at the same time._

 _Her mother also received a hug, as she was freely crying at this point._

 _"When will you come back?" Jade asked._

 _Her father gave her a watery smile._

 _"Don't worry, Sly" he said as he bopped her nose with his finger, using the nickname he had given her years ago._

 _"We'll be back before ya know it."_

 _And with that, he and her mother hugged her once again, kissing the top of her head and her cheeks and pushing her lightly into the hall closet, cane in hand._

 _She opened the door slightly, curious._

 _Her mother and father were taking down all of their family pictures, and replacing them with ones of just the two of them._

 _Once that was done, they hugged in the middle of the room._

 _"Melanie, I love you so much." Her father said, kissing her mother._

 _"I love you, too, Jonathan." She replied._

 _She broke away from him, and picked up a lamp from the coffee table._

 _"Now then, if we're going down, we'd better go down fighting."_

 **!**

And went down they did. Jade watched as her parents were brutally beaten to death at the hands of five monstrous murderers, one of them not even human. She then watched as they stole her father's book from the wall safe, her family's namesake for generations.

When the police came, she was sitting next to her parents' bodies, curled up in a ball and begging them to wake up.

They brought her to an orphanage, where she met Andre and Robbie, who's parents left them there as children.

Together, they became each other's family, and thieving companions. Each brought their own set of skills to the table, Jade's dexterity, Robbie's superior intellect, and Andre's large muscles, to form the ultimate band of thieves.

 **!**

Jade always knew that they would help her get her revenge, and today, they were one step closer.

Currently, she sat on an old couch in her bedroom. They had moved into, for the time being at least, and old train station, and put furniture in the cars, linking them together like a giant trailer.

She had taken the binder she wore under her thief outfit off (because boobs get in the way a lot more than you'd think), and was currently clad in a black and red button up, skinny black jeans, and combat boots. Her raven hair was set free of its bun, and was freshly washed and combed. The eye contacts she wore to change her eye color were also taken out, and sat in a saline solution on her bedside table.

Her thieving outfit and cane were locked in a chest in a secret compartment under her bed, and she wore the key (a tiny pair of scissors) around her neck.

It had taken them a while to get back to the U.S., and Jade was ready to go out and unwind before going on another...excursion.

She finished applying her dark makeup, and headed to the living room.

"You know, for being a world class thief, capable of stealing from someone in a matter of seconds, you take _way_ too long to get ready." Andre commented with a smirk. He had on a tight, long sleeved grey shirt, dark jeans, and boots. His dreads were free of their usual ponytail, and hung neatly down to his shoulders.

"And you know, for being 'the brawn' of our gang, you're really letting yourself go." Jade shot back playfully, smacking him in the stomach and heading out.

"Hey! I'm just protecting my muscle with a layer of fat. You wouldn't understand."

"Whatever makes you feel better, buddy." Robbie gave him a consoling pat on the back, following Jade. Robbie wore a green and grey striped button up, khakis, and Toms.

"Everyone's a critic." Andre mumbled under his breath, following his two best friends out.

 **!**


	3. Chapter 2(part 2)

**!**

Since the van was a little too obvious for everyday use, they all piled into Jade's black, 1960s Camaro, which Jade stole from a crooked CEO a few years back, and headed to Cherie, a popular bar in the area.

Andre looked mildly uncomfortable not being in the driver's seat, and clenched the aptly nicknamed "oh shit" bar above the passenger seat every time Jade took a sharp turn.

Jade drove at breakneck speeds, weaving in and out of traffic, partially because she liked to drive fast, and partially because it was fun to mess with Andre.

Robbie sat in the back seat, typing out algorithms on his phone for inventions and strategies he'd been trying to perfect, not paying attention to the high speed the car was moving.

At last, they made it to the bar in (mostly) one piece.

Andre nearly fell out of the car, dramatically clutching his chest, and turned to Jade, who had also gotten out and was smirking at him over the top of it.

"You're trying to kill me!"

She laughed. "It's not my fault you're so much fun to mess with."

"Heart attacks are not fun!"

Robbie came out after finishing up what ever it was he was doing on his phone, looking between the two quizzically.

"Heart attack..?"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Nothin'. Just Dre bein' a drama queen."

Andre glared at her as the trio walked inside.

 **!**

Once inside the bar, Andre and Robbie went to sit as Jade ordered the drinks, as it was her turn to pay that day.

She flagged the bartender down and ordered a rum and Coke for herself, a Manhattan for Andre, and a sparkling water for Robbie. As the bartender prepared the drinks, someone caught her eye.

Off to the side of the bar, nursing a shot of Jack Daniels, was Inspector Carmelita Vega. She wore her usual tight jeans, boots, a tight blue shirt that showed off her chest and stomach, and a tan jacket.

Jade waved Andre over, and nonchalantly pointed the cop out.

Andre looked at his best friend with suspicion.

"You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, are you?"

Jade looked at him innocently.

"Of course not! Because I'm just an innocent civilian, who would _never_ break the law!"

She went back to her usual smirk.

"Relax, Dre. She doesn't know who I am. I'll be fine."

Andre raised his hands in defeat as the bartender placed the drinks in front of them.

"I'm not a part of this, West."

"Good to know, Harris."

She grabbed her drink, handed Andre her keys, and made her way over.

She sat at the bar stool next to the Latina's, facing her.

"A woman as beautiful as yourself shouldn't be drowning her sorrows in alcohol, you know." Jade started, sipping her drink.

"Maybe you shouldn't be so skin deep about a woman's problems." She snapped back.

Jade raised her eyebrows.

"Sorry. Just. Had a long day. I'm not really in the mood for pick up lines."

"Fair enough. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Look, I know you're trying to be helpful, or just trying to get laid, but I'm really not in the mood to do anything other than drink myself into a stupor and wake up with a blinding headache tomorrow."

Jade shrugged. "How are you going to get home?"

She sighed. "You don't give up, do you?"

Jade just smirked in response.

"I'll walk home and pick up my car tomorrow."

"Not without keys, you won't." Jade pulled the cop's car keys out of her pocket, twirling them on her index finger.

"I'm assuming you know I'm a cop, because those were right next to my badge."

"I am aware, Inspector Carmelita Vega. I also know that you aren't interested in arresting me."

"And why's that?"

"Because," Jade started, finishing her drink, "You've had a long, hard day, and all you want to do is forget about it. You also know that I'm not going anywhere with your keys, so you're just gonna sit there and wallow in your Jack while I sit next to you and offer consolation."

The cop sighed, and stared hard at her shot.

"Call me Tori."

 **!**

Throughout the night, the two women hit it off, talking about anything from board games, to the instability of tectonic plates, from serious conversations to ones that nearly made Tori fall out of her seat laughing.

Then the subject of Tori's presence at the bar came up.

"So what were you doing here?" Jade had just gone straight into the question.

"Like I said. Long day." Tori tried to dismiss it, taking a sip of her Sex on The Beach.

"Yeah, long days usually don't make people want to get blackout drunk, you know."

The inspector sighed. "I just. There's this fucking thief who always manages to get away right when I get close. And the weird thing is, he has some sort of backwards morality that makes him steal from other criminals, which is great on paper, but two negatives don't make a positive,"

Another sip made her pause, and gave Jade time to think.

 _So she thinks I'm a guy. I can see that. I wear a binder and my hair's always up when I see her. I guess I could understand._

"But at the same time, I guess he helps me out, because he always leads me to more criminals, many of them worse than he is, and it makes my track record look great! Great to everyone except my fucking boss. She thinks I'm incompetent, she hasn't told me that, but I've overheard it, and that I'm just too stupid to catch him,"

She started finishing her drink.

 _Wait, backwards morality? I'm not that bad of a person...am I?_

"But at the same time, she fucking hits on me! Like, she keeps making me stay late with her, she's always brushing up against me 'accidentally' (air quotes were included), always inviting me to dinner, and she won't stop! Like, jeez woman! Take a hint!"

A feeling unfamiliar to Jade reared up inside of her, making the thief want to track down Tori's boss and do unthinkable things.

Outwardly, she stood, grabbing Tori's arm gently and putting some money on the counter for the bartender.

"Come on, sweetheart. I'm taking you home."

Tori grumbled, but allowed herself to be led outside to her car, which Jade found by clicking the "panic" button on her keys.

The thief helped her into the passenger side, and walked to the driver's side, starting the car and driving out of the lot.

From there, it was a mostly silent car ride, where Tori only talked to give directions. It was by no means tense, just comfortable silence.

When they made it to Tori's apartment complex, the cop buzzed herself in, stumbling, and Jade ended up carrying her bridal style to her door, the drunken Latina sleepily grumbling her complaints against the paler woman's chest.

Jade put her down only to fish her house keys from her purse, then carried her inside, where she found her bedroom after a few moments and put her down gently in bed.

She went to the kitchen and took a bottle of water from the fridge, then went to the medicine cabinet in her bathroom and took out a bottle of Aspirin, taking both to the bedroom and putting it on the nightstand.

Jade then helped the half-asleep inspector out of her jacket and boots, then slid her under the covers, turning her on her side so that if she threw up, she wouldn't suffocate.

She was about to leave when a tan hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

Tori peaked up from under the covers, and silently dragged her into bed, where, after Jade kicked off her boots and socks, the thief wrapped her arms around the drunken cop, surrounded by the scent of lavender and spice.

!

The next day, Tori woke up to a massive headache, and an empty bed.

She sat up, groaning, and looked around. She was disappointed that Jade seemed to have left, until she looked on the nightstand.

There, was a bottle of water, some Aspirin, and a note.

 _Hey, I'm sorry I had to leave early! I had a boat to London to catch for that art gallery opening I told you about. Anyways, I hope, if you aren't too busy with your boss, of course, that you'd maybe wanna grab lunch sometime?_

 _-Jade West_

A number was at the bottom, presumably Jade's, and that brought a smile to Tori's face, one that wouldn't quite leave for the rest of the day.

 **!**

 **I know that it was a bit anticlimactic, but that's how I'm going to format my story. There's gonna be one chapter of "Sly Cooper", and one chapter of "Jade West", so to speak.**

 **Also, I'm not to sure what I should call the human equivalent of the "Thievius Raccoonus", so if you all could help me out there, that'd be greaaaaat.**

 **Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a review! I'll see ya next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

 **Hello, again, everyone! This chapter will be all about Sir Raleigh's level. I don't really have much to say here, so I'll see ya at the bottom!**

!

"You two princesses ready to go, or do you need more time to fix your makeup?" Jade asked Andre and Robbie sarcastically.

Jade was currently leaning against the side of the van, in her thief's outfit, waiting with arms crossed for her two best friends to gather their things.

"Hey! It's not my fault that the weather around Wales is atrocious this time of year! I have to pack the proper equipment, plus covering for it, and adapters for battery pa-" Robbie started, but Andre cut him off.

"Yeah, I think she gets it, man." He turned to Jade.

"Hey! Get your ass off my baby! I just washed her!" He reprimanded, but smiled at the end.

Jade chuckled, and opened the passenger door. She turned back to Andre.

"You wanna let me drive this time?"

He laughed, then said to her, "Jade, I've seen your driving skills. If you want us to get there in one piece, just stay on the passenger side."

!

The plan was to drive down to the harbor, where Robbie had arranged for a boat, large enough to fit the van on, to be docked. They'd then ride to Wales, where Jade would face Sir Raleigh, one of the Fiendish Five, and one of the five people that had part of Jade's family's book.

According to Sir Raleigh's file, he grew up as a pampered youth in the United Kingdom.

As a young boy, Raleigh grew bored of his life of luxury, and longed for something exciting.

On a whim, he tried his hand at piracy, and found it pleasing.

Raleigh was brought in by the Fiendish five as their chief machinist, where his genius grew more and more with each heinous crime.

The last reported sighting of sir Raleigh was off the southern coast of the Isle of Wrath, a small isle situated in the middle of the perilous Welsh Triangle.

It sounded dangerous, but to Jade, who'd been waiting twelve long years for this, it was but another step on her mission to finish what those bastards started.

!

Three days later, the gang had touched down on the small island said to house Sir Raleigh's operation.

It was pouring down rain, and Jade covered her blue beret, shirt, and gloves, as well as her gray skinny jeans and blue boots, in a waterproof spray that Robbie had concocted on the was over.

Slipping her mask on, Jade stepped out into the rain, and was immediately taken back by how cold it was. While she was relatively dry, The cold, Welsh night air seemed to bite through her clothes, slicing her to the core.

Gritting her teeth, she continued on to a small cave that, from the look of the KEEP OUT sign, she suspected was the entrance to Raleigh's hideout.

!

Once Jade was through, she noticed a few things.

One, there was a large gate that seemed to be locked up tight.

Two, there were searchlights, and a rather mean-looking thug waiting for her on the other side.

Three, while the gate was locked up, there was a rather obvious ladder leading up and over the fence.

She went over to it, and began to climb, the rubber grips on her gloves coming in handy on the wet metal.

She dropped down easily to the ground, and began to move forward, avoiding the searchlights around her.

The thug watched her silently, tossing a throwing knife nonchalantly. When Jade was in what she guessed was his range, he threw one at her, which she dodged, rolling easily to the side.

The second one sailed over her head as she ducked, preparing to strike. He had taken his eyes off of her, searching his pockets for another knife.

Jade hooked her cane around his head, and pulled him down to meet her knee. She felt his nose break as blood began immediately pouring from it. She ran the back of his head into the wall behind him, knocking the thug unconscious.

Jade searched the thug's pockets and found a large length of rope, which she used to tie him up, and pulled him to a relatively dry location.

She also found a key, which unlocked another gate further up.

!

Once through the second gate, she saw what looked to be a large ship, with some sort of blimp above it.

As if on cue, Robbie tuned in on the mic.

"That blimp up there seems to be controlling the weather here." He started.

"It looks like the most secure location on this island," Jade replied. "If Raleigh's as smart as his file suggests, that's gotta be where he is."

"Wonderful idea, Sly, but your plan is incredibly flawed."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. In order to get to that blimp, you'd have to sneak through that high voltage power tube."

Jade brought out her binocucom, zooming in on said power tube. Next to it appeared to be its generator, with three padlocks on the small fence surrounding it.

"To do that without being electrocuted, you'd need to destroy that generator, and to do _that_ , you'd need to steal two more of Raleigh's keys, which are heavily guarded!"

Jade smirked. "So when are you going to get to the impossible part?"

"Fine! But I warned you."

Robbie signed off, and Jade began her search for the other keys.

!

After a bit of searching, Jade managed to grab three keys instead of two, thanks to a bit of guidance from Robbie, and headed to the generator.

She unlocked each padlock, and slid the keys back into her pack, more as mementos than anything else.

Jade crawled through the small tube, and came out the other side.

"Astonishing! All of my calculations led me to believe that you would fail to knock out that generator!"

Jade chuckled. "I never was good at math."

Robbie's voice changed to a challenging tone. "Well, here's a real test for you."

He continued. "I've found a way up to Raleigh's hideout, but unfortunately, it is doomed to failure."

Jade looked around. To her right was a rather large cannon.

"You're not gonna tell me I have to shoot myself outta that cannon, are you?"

"I'm afraid that's the only way."

"Now we're talking!"

"You really scare me sometimes, man."

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

Jade stepped up to the large cannon, and swung it around to point at the large blimp.

She took a deep breath. "If I die, bury me with my scissor collection."

"I'm not sure there'd be enough room in the coffin." Came Robbie's reply.

She pulled out some rope and tied it to the ignition rope already in place, shielding it from the rain. She lit it quickly with a lighter from her pack, and once she was sure it wouldn't go out, Jade hopped into the cannon.

It went off with a loud BANG!, and Jade went soaring through the air.

!

She tore through the bottom of the blimp, scraping her arm on jagged pieces of metal but otherwise okay, and managed to land in her feet, a short distance from Sir Raleigh.

He was a short man, clad in a mismatched ensemble of high class pieces (a top hat, white gloves, and monocle) and pirate wear (heavy boots, torn and ragged pants, and a captain's coat).

Raleigh sat on a throne in the middle of a massive room, filled with treasure, weaponry, and an assortment of frog stuffed animals (much to Jade's amusement).

"How delightful! We have a guest!" He began, drumming his fingers against one another.

"There's just one problem."

He leaned forward, his face going red.

" _I hate unexpected guests!_"

Jade pointed at him with her cane. "Listen, Raleigh. Wipe out my family and steal what's mine, you better expect company."

"Oh I'm ever so sorry! How sloppy of my not to finish the job. Obviously we should have snuffed you out as well."

He reached beside his throne, pulling out a whip.

"So, without further ado, let me make amends by, what..."

He cracked the whip.

" _Beating you to within an inch of your life, and drowning you like the disgusting little rat you are!_ "

Jade smirked. "Bring it on."

!

He cracked the whip, missing Jade's head by millimeters. She jumped back, trying to decide what to do.

It was a short cat-o-nine tails, commonly used by pirates in the Middle Ages as a form of punishment. From the looks of it, Raleigh had added metal hooks on the ends to make it even more vicious.

She jumped into a back hand spring to avoid his next attack, still trying to figure out a course of action.

She noticed the frog stuffed animals in the corner.

Jade hooked one with her cane, this one particularly large, and dodged Raleigh's attack once more. With his arm reared back for another lash, she launched the stuffed animal at him, catching him right in the face.

The unexpected projectile was enough to knock him down, and Jade ran up, crushing the hand that held the whip under her foot.

Raleigh howled in pain, and Jade ripped one of the feet off of the stuffed frog, shoving it into his open mouth to shut him up.

Using the last of the rope she had, she tied Raleigh up in a hogtie position, and searched around for the pages he'd stolen from her all those years ago.

The thief found them in a hidden safe under Raleigh's throne, and tucked them into a ziplock bag in her thigh pack.

With Raleigh incapacitated, and the pages safety in hand, Jade headed for the same hole she came in from.

Off in the distance, she saw flashing lights, and smirked.

 _So Carmelita finally decided to show up_ , she thought to herself. _Right on time_.

"Murray? Pull the boat around. It's time to go."

And with that, Jade leapt out of the hole of the blimp, landing in the water below.

 **!**

 **And that's that! Another chapter down! Special thanks to lovegun1983. You kinda kicked me back into this, and I appreciate it!**

 **See ya next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Hey, everyone! So, I just wanted to say that I read through On The Sly again, and wow. I forgot how well written it was. Like. Jeez. I'd totally recommend going to check it out.**

 **Anywho, hope you enjoy the next chapter!**

 **!**

Tori flopped down onto the bed, exhausted. She'd flown to London from the U.S. for 12 sleepless hours, then stayed up for another 12 hours chasing after Sly.

The inspector had gone to Wales first, hearing about Sly Cooper from an anonymous tip phoned into Interpol. When she'd gotten to the coordinates the tip had given, Cooper was nowhere to be seen. Instead, in a large blimp with a hole blown into one side, was Sir Raleigh, bound and gagged amongst his stuffed amphibian friends.

She'd held off on freeing him, going through some papers left out on his desk, and found documents detailing his treasure scheme, which was enough to arrest him. In short, Tori, once again, brought in the criminal she wasn't looking for.

Instead of getting a "congratulations" from her superior for freeing up the Welsh seas once again, the Contessa pointed out that he wasn't the one she was sent for, and she was reprimanded and sent home, while "real inspectors" looked around.

Halfway through her flight, she got a call that Sly had struck in London, making off with the Crown Jewels. As bad as it was, she couldn't help but smirk at the knowledge that the "real inspectors" we're the ones that let him get away.

Tori pulled off her boots and gloves and slid under the covers, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

 **!**

Jade put her gear back in its place and showered immediately after the gang had gotten home from Wales. When she got out, she was grabbed by Andre, and sat in front of the TV, where she, Andre, and Robbie played Super Smash Bros. until Robbie retired to his room to draw up some schematics. Andre and Jade called it a day, and Andre went out to tune up the van.

Currently, she was under her covers, messing around on her phone absentmindedly until she felt tired.

She got a message, suddenly, from an unknown number.

 **Unknown: Hey! It's Tori.**

 **Jade: Hey there. Sorry about running out on ya a couple days ago.**

 **Tori: It's alright. I had a flight to catch, anyways. Are you back in town?**

 **Jade: Yeah, why do you ask?**

 **Tori: I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee tomorrow? It'd be kind of early, because I have work, but still. You in?**

 **Jade: A chance to see a beautiful girl again? I'd love to.**

 **Tori: Awesome! Skybucks at 8?**

 **Jade: Sounds like a plan. See you tomorrow, gorgeous ;)**

 **Tori: Flattery will get you nowhere, Madame. Good night!**

Jade slept with a huge grin on her face.

 **!**

The next day, Jade dressed in a black button up she kept unbuttoned, a dark red v neck, some black skinny jeans, and some Converse. She applied her usual dark makeup and headed out.

Jade pulled up outside of the coffee shop and got out, locking her car and heading in. She spied the half Latina sitting in a booth by the window, staring out onto the street, and joined her after ordering her coffee, black with two sugars.

"Good morning, lovely." She smiled, sitting across from her and sipping her coffee.

Tori's eyes reflected her happiness at the compliment, but she feigned indifference. "Hey. Did you sleep okay?"

Jade nodded. "Like a rock. Work keeps me busy." She smirked. "What about you? Was the flight back okay?"

Tori chuckled. "Yeah. My boss chewed me out for not catching this criminal and called in a few people to "help" me, only to have the criminal get away with, get this, the Crown Jewels."

Jade looked shocked, though, being the criminal, she was not. "Really? Isn't there really tight security on those?" She sat back, taking another sip of her coffee.

"Oh yeah, really tight. They still have no idea how he got in." She took a sip of her own drink. "You know, I really hate him, but he's a helluva thief."

"Sounds like it..." Jade trailed off. _Hate? She really hates me?_

Tori sensed the change in atmosphere. "Sorry. I talk so much about my job. What about you? How was the art gallery?"

Jade snapped out of it. "Nah, it's fine. I like hearing you. And the gallery was fine. It was filled with actual art, and not, let's say, a painting of a line valued at 10 million pounds." She chuckled.

Tori smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was actually in London for a bit. Wish I could've run into you, again."

Jade smirked. "Well, you have my number. Maybe we don't have to just run into one another."

Tori smiled. "I'd like that."

!

 **Hey all! Sorry about the short chapter. The way I want to divide it up is a chapter of "Sly" and a chapter of "Jade" if that makes any sense. The "Jade" chapters will either be short or long, depending on what's gonna happen. The next chapter's gonna be pretty long, though!**

 **See ya next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Another chapter, this one about Muggshot! A quick note, Nishi means West in Japanese. I know in the game series, it's always "Cooper", no matter what nationality, but I took a bit of creative license here. Anyways, enjoy!**

 **!**

It had been a few weeks since Jade and the gang had been back in the U.S., but for this trip, it was needed.

This time, Jade was after the infamous Steven "Muggshot" Smith, the (huge) muscles behind the Fiendish Five. What he lacked in intelligence, and he was _quite_ lacking in that department, he made up for in brute strength.

According to his file, he wasn't always that way. He grew up one of the smallest kids, the runt of the litter, the neighborhood weakling.

Muggshot was always bullied by the other kids, and the only friends he could turn to were usually found on the big screen. That's where he'd spotted his first gangster, and he knew instantly that's what he wanted to be.

He spent the rest of his youth working hard to get there, fueled by his dreams of power and respect. With enough perspiration, he realized that dream, and became a street brawling, ruthless, tough as nails gangster, and ensuring that he'd never be pushed around again.

His last known whereabouts were in the thriving town of Mesa City, in the very tip of Arizona, and Jade was headed there to take back what was rightfully hers.

 **!**

She hopped out of the back of the van, into the cool desert night. Where the sign to enter Mesa City was, a huge blockade had been erected, with warning signs all around it, urging passersby to "Keep Out".

 _This_ can't _be legal_ , Jade thought to herself.

Luckily, there was a pipe next to the blockade, a storm drain of sorts, and Jade latched onto it, hooking her cane to her thigh pack.

Once above the blockade, she heard

Robbie's voice in her ear. She brought out her binocucom, and pushed a button on the device in her ear.

"Hey Sly! I thought you said Mesa City was going to be loud and busy! This looks more like a ghost town!" He said, looking around through the camera in her contacts he'd installed on the way over.

Jade wrinkled her brow.

"Something's happened, alright. Where is everyone?" She asked, more to herself than to Robbie.

"I-I don't know, but it's really starting to give me the creeps. What do you say we take off?"

Jade scoffed. "And miss out on all the fun? Besides, I wanna try out that new move Rioichi Nishi wrote about, the Ninja Spire Jump."

"Fine. But I still don't like it!"

"I'll keep that in mind."

Jade put the binocucom away, and approached some lamps attached by a wire to the blockade, and thought back to Riochi's section of the book.

He was able to land on tiny points, often atop fragile objects, like paper lantern tops, with ease. The trick was to channel your energy back into your limbs, focusing on becoming lightweight using an ancient Japanese method he'd perfected.

Meaning that Jade would either succeed, or fall twenty to thirty feet, most likely breaking something in the process.

She took a deep breath, and jumped.

Jade felt herself land on the lamp, and could feel the wire sagging under her weight. She focused her energy like the pages had said, concentrating hard, and hoping not to fatally injure herself.

Surprisingly, it worked, and Jade felt the wire raise, as if nothing were on it at all. Still concentrating, she jumped to the next light, then the next, until she stood on top of a tall rock formation that the wire went around.

Looking down from her perch, the thief saw a thug waiting for someone to try to go through the blockade, a large bat with a nail going through the top in hand.

Jade weighed her options, and figured that it'd probably be best to just continue on, and did so, following the next two lights to a tin rooftop, and sliding down a storm drain on the side of it.

Next to her was a small body of water, a small waterfall feeding into it. It had an assortment of large objects floating in it, and Jade was a little surprised that nobody thought to clean it out.

In front of her was a large dog tied to a wooden post in the ground, gnawing on a large bone. Behind him was another tin building, and next to him was a ladder leading to its roof.

Jade made a gameplan in her head, and approached the creature.

"Hey, big guy. How's about letting me get past ya?" She asked in a voice one might talk to a child in.

The dog, in response, barked loudly, and began charging at her. Jade waited until he had extended his reach as far as the rope holding him would allow, and then brought her cane down on top of his head, not enough to kill him, but enough to make him lose consciousness.

She dragged him back to his post, and set his bone down under him, making it look to anyone who came by that he was asleep.

She climbed the ladder, and was met with a flimsy-looking, tall, wooden fence.

Jade figured she could whack it with her cane, or jump over it, when a thug wielding a nail-bat similar to the one she had seen earlier burst through, running at her.

She dodged his swing at her, jumping back. He was to big to take in a fair fight, his large muscles clearly shown in his red and white striped muscle shirt, so Jade waited.

Soon, and opening appeared, he swung again at her, this time bringing the nail-bat over his head and slamming it down. She sidestepped his attack, and ran around him, hooking his ankle with her cane as she went.

She pulled when she was behind him, and he fell flat on his face. A blow to the back of the head was enough to subdue him, and she produced a length of rope she'd begun to carry around from her pack, tying him up and stashing him in some bushes nearby.

Jade walked down the now quiet road with her guard up, yet she came up to the tunnel leading into the city without any other altercations.

Once there, she noticed the tunnel had been intentionally caved in, but a door next to it seemed unharmed, but locked.

Reaching for her pack, she pulled out a bobby pin and a multitool from one of the side compartments, unfolding the blade portion of the tool.

The door was open in a few moments, and Jade walked inside.

 **!**

What she walked into was a bit of an eyesore to Jade.

A massive casino was erected right on the middle of the town square, with the rest of the roads leading anywhere blocked off by piles of cars. A giant...fire hydrant...was on top of the casino, with a large balloon of Muggshot next to it. And, in case anyone was unclear about who ran the town, "Muggshot", in giant neon letters was placed on the front of the casino.

Robbie began speaking to Jade, and she got out her binocucom to help him see.

"This Muggshot certainly isn't shy," he began.

"Okay, so we know he's here somewhere, but how are we supposed to find him? Mesa city is a big place."

Jade thought for a moment before responding.

"Well, we know he's not shy about himself. If I were a huge egomaniac, I'd probably be in the flashiest building in the city."

"And what's flashier than a giant fire hydrant on top? " Robbie finished for her.

"That's some sound logic, Sly. Now you just need a way to break into the building"s base."

Jade zoomed in, focusing on a muscle car (a blue Dodge Charger with green stripes up the middle) a little ways away from the entrance.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll think of something."

She put away her binocucom, and continued onto the road, climbing gracefully over cars.

She took out a thug, this one clad in a black leather jacket, jeans, and sunglasses ( _who wears sunglasses at night?_ Jade asked herself), and carrying a machine gun, tying him up and hiding him behind some old cars.

Reaching the car, she looked for any keys that would start it.

 _Fuck_ , she cursed mentally, realizing there were none to be found. She was just about to try her hand at hot wiring the thing, when Andre's voice crackled in.

"Sly! You gotta help me! I'm just outside of the city!"

Jade dropped her task, rushing back out of the city to help her best friend.

 **!**

"Murray! What's going on down there?!" She whisper screamed.

She had found where he was, at a fast food restaurant with a track around it, and had hidden on a ledge overlooking the track.

"Well, Bentley went out to tinker with a big invention of his, and I drove to this McDonald's for a quick snack. The next thing I know, I'm getting challenged to a race by these gangsters!"

Jade thought for a moment.

"What's the prize?"

"A key to some muscle car in the city. The guy had a picture, it was blue with green stripes. Why is this important?"

"I need you to win that race, man. I need to use that car to get inside."

Andre sighed. "Of course you do. All I wanted was a McDouble, man!"

Jade chuckled, and watched as Andre drove to the starting point.

A man stood in the very middle, holding a black and white checkered flag. He raised it in the air, and the four other cars around Andre began to rev their engines in anticipation.

He swung the flag down, and the racers were off.

Andre quickly cut off a racer, someone who'd apparently stolen or bought an old police car and turned the siren on, and continued on the track, dodging the other racers' attempts to ram one another.

In the first turn, he stepped on the gas, accelerating through the turn and gaining a little more ground on the other three.

The next few turns were spent jockeying for his newfound position, trying to fight off the car he'd overtaken.

Once his position was secure, Andre managed to pass another, this time a man on a sleek black motorcycle, careful not to run into him for fear of the cyclist's death.

The first lap was over, and Andre was in third place.

He stepped on the gas once more going into a sharp left turn, the van teetering on the wheels on its right side, and managed to pass a sleek purple muscle car, then spent the rest of the lap gaining ground on the final car.

The third lap came, and Andre and the first place car, a tan colored convertible, were neck and neck. Andre would try to come up beside it, and the driver would veer into the van, forcing the strongest member of the Cooper Gang to fall back.

As the end of the race drew nearer, Andre came up with a plan.

He fell back, making it look like that was as fast as he could go, and the other driver began feeling cocky. He slowed down, showing anyone watching that he could just cruise into the winner's circle.

That is, until Andre hit the gas, and the nitro that he'd installed a few weeks back.

The van raced forward, catching the driver by surprise just before he'd passed the finish line.

Andre had won, and the driver of the sports car that Jade sought made good on his promise, handing the keys over to Andre.

He looked over to where Jade had perched, but didn't see her. A tap on his shoulder turned him to the thief.

"Nice driving, partner." She smirked, grabbing the keys from him and heading to the city.

 **!**

Once inside, Jade unlocked the car and started it up. She put the car in drive, and put her feet on the brake and accelerate pedals. She waited until the smell of burning rubber was thick in the air, and let go of the brake pedal.

Jade went speeding towards the casino's boarded up entrance, and probably her death.

Gotta time this just right, she thought, and at the last possible moment, jumped out of the car and rolled to the side, immediately sliding into cover behind a stack of tires as the Charger...charged...into the casino.

Car parts and door parts flew around the vicinity, many bouncing off or slicing partially through the tire stack Jade hid behind.

When she figured the carnage was over, she poked her head out from behind her cover. She waited a moment for any thugs who heard the blast to come running.

After a bit, when nobody showed up, she headed inside.

 **!**

Upon entering, she saw what looked like a hotel lobby, with a check in counter to her left that had a variety of switches, and a massive sculpture of Muggshot's head at the top of a set of stairs.

She walked up the stairs, where she pulled out her bonocucom and rang Robbie.

"Would you look at that ugly mug?" She chuckled.

"I am, and I find it infinitely fascinating." He replied.

"You got a thing for buff guys now? Does Murray need to hide out for a while?"

"Hilarious." He deadpanned.

"My x-Ray detection devices have revealed a secret elevator that leads straight up to Muggshot's penthouse contained within that giant head."

"So how do we get in?" Jade asked.

Robbie zoomed her bonocucom to the left, back towards a check in desk a hotel lobby would have, with a plain wooden panel surrounded by locks.

"Behind that locked wall, there's a switch that summons the elevator."

"So I either need to find the keys or pick the locks?"

"Yes."

"Good thing I brought my multi tool."

Jade headed down and began to pick the locks. She popped them off, and almost pulled the lever when a voice behind her caught her off guard.

"Well, well, well, look who just wandered into my crosshairs." Carmelita called out, raising her shock pistol.

Jade turned around, a smirk on her face.

"'Bout time you showed up, Ms. Vega. I was getting worried about you. Thought you may have taken a wrong turn somewhere back in Paris." She rested her cane on her shoulder, sliding closer to the lever as nonchalantly as she could.

"The only one making wrong turns is you, Sly. I'd suggest you turn yourself in before I paralyze you with my friend, here."

Jade chuckled. "Now see, a girl who's best friend's a fire arm's got issues. A little dinner, a little dancing, I think I could help you out."

Inspector Vega scoffed. "Sounds romantic. As long as you don't mind dining in jail."

Jade shook her head. "Nah, I hear the service there's terrible."

She cocked the pistol. "Once I catch you, you'll know for yourself."

She fired, and Jade immediately ducked behind the counter. Once the shot hit the wooden panel, she reached her cane up, quickly pulling down the lever.

The sound of Muggshot's mourn opening up distracted Inspector Vega long enough for Jade to jump from behind the counter and push her, just enough to make her fall back. The shock pistol flew from her grasp, and Jade kicked it across the room before sprinting up the steps, the cop hot on her trail. She dove into the elevator just as the doors opened, and pressed the "door close" button quickly.

They closed just as Inspector Vega reached them, and Jade smashed the control panel with her cane, opening up the emergency hatch at the top and climbing up the ladder to the side of the shaft.

 **!**

Once she got to the top, she pried the elevator doors open, to be faced with Muggshot himself, two massive white pit bulls on either side of him. He was wearing a white wifebeater and tan, striped pants. He had spiked bracelets on either wrist, and wore dress shoes. Muggshot also had a massive mustache, and bushy eyebrows that almost made up for the fact that he was bald. He also had twin tommy guns strapped to his back.

He sat in a chair at the far end of the massive room, and a small window was next to him, which let a few days of sunlight into the dark atmosphere. A mirror sat close to it, covered by a cloth. Close to Jade was a couch, covered in stains.

"What? My boys have been yapping about some mysterious dude running around screwing things up and, and this is it? Some scrawny prick with a stick." He chuckled, revealing a bad Italian/Boston accent, but then leaned closer in his chair.

"Wait a second. I remember that stick."

Jade chuckled, and leaned against her cane. "Maybe when my father knocked your block off with it."

"Your father?! You know, that Thingus Humanagoocus had a lotta nice pictures, but WAY too many big words."

"So you don't mind just handing it over?" Jade asked.

"What, are you kidding? You break into MY place, steal MY stuff, trash the joint, I feel transgressed and violated." He turned to his dogs.

"Get him, boys!"

The dogs immediately charged at Jade. She ran at the one on her left, knocking him to the side with her cane. It gave her enough time to swing around and punch the other one in the snout that had jumped at her.

Jade felt a blinding pain in her leg, and looked down to see the pit bull she'd knocked to the side clamped down onto her. She knocked him out with a blow to the back of the head, and turned around just in time to catch the other one who'd jumped at her again.

Jade moved to the side, and was on him right when he landed. She got on his back and slid her cane around his neck, choking him. She held on and counted to ten in her head, and the dog slowly stopped fighting. She checked to make sure he was still alive, then got off of him.

"So, that didn't kill ya, eh? Guess you're made of tougher stuff than ya folks." Muggshot taunted, sliding his guns off his back.

Jade dove for the couch just as he begin firing. He didn't stop firing, and the bullets tore through the couch, embedding themselves into the wall behind it.

 _How is it that I always manage to get myself into this mess?_ Jade asked herself. She looked over at the window. Next to it was a rope that led up to a chandelier Muggshot was standing under. A plan formulated in her head, and she waited for the right moment.

Once she heard the familiar click of an empty gun, she ran as fast as her injured leg would allow.

"Hey, Muggshot!" She called out, pulling the cloth off of the mirror next to the window.

He looked up from reloading, and she moved the mirror to catch the sunlight.

It got in his eyes, and distracted him long enough for her to slice through the rope holding the chandelier with her cane. It came crashing down onto him, knocking him unconscious.

"You gotta face only a motha could love." She mocked his accent.

A voice came through on her binocucom.

"Sly, we have to go! Police are beginning to surround the place." Robbie's panic was evident in his voice.

She looked out the window at the Muggshot balloon.

"No prob, Bentley. I'll be there soon." She replied, jumping through the window.

 **!**

 **Whaddya think? Loved it? Hated it? I'd love to know! I for one couldn't figure out what accent Muggshot was trying to do, so I just put in the two I thought he sounded like. Also, Robbie's not gay in this, in case you were wondering. And the name of Jade's Family book is going to be 'The Thievius Humanus". Kinda unoriginal, I know, but I couldn't think of anything better, and nobody ever contacted me about a name for it.**

 **Anyways, see ya next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **Hello, all! A new chapter's here! Enjoy!**

 **See ya at the bottom!**

 **!**

Tori arrested Muggshot, and handed him off to the Arizona State police. She grabbed a coffee, and sighed, pulling out her phone. She bit her lip, and texted someone.

 **Tori: Hey.**

She sent it hesitantly, not wanting to bother the person.

 **Jade: Hi there, gorgeous. What's up?**

Yes, Jade and Tori had been on a few dates since they met at the bar, and the inspector had gotten more comfortable around her. They'd shared some laughs, and Tori thought Jade was a true gentlewoman. It was nice to finally find someone who treated her right, who wasn't lying to her constantly.

 **Tori: Not much. Just. Job stuff. Where'd you say your art collecting took you?**

She exited the station and got into her civilian car.

 **Jade: Nevada. You're in Arizona, yeah?**

 **Tori: Yes. I know it's really out of the way, but do you wanna meet somewhere around the border? I've just. Work's been hard, and I'd like to see you.**

Tori bit her lip. She didn't want to trouble the goth, but really needed her.

 **Jade: Of course! I think there's a little diner in Nevada just before the Arizona line. There good?**

She breathed a sigh of relief, and headed to the address Jade had sent, sending a last message before she drove away.

 **Tori: That's perfect. I'll see you soon!**

 **!**

Jade was in the diner she texted Tori about. In truth, she'd headed there shortly after beating Muggshot. A friend she'd made working in the thieving career had a day job there, and he patched her dog bite up. The guys had gone back to the hotel room they'd bought in Nevada, after making Jade promise she'd call if she was in trouble.

After about an hour, Tori walked in and looked around. Jade waved to get her attention, and stood up to hug her once she came over, wincing slightly at the pressure on her leg.

"Are you okay?" Tori asked worriedly, noticing the wince.

"Yeah. I was walking home from the art exhibit when a dog charged out and attacked me." She chuckled, sitting down.

She felt bad about lying to Tori, it weighed heavier in her conscience with each date, but she could never tell her the truth. That'd never work out.

"Thank god I carry some mace in my purse, or it would've gotten ugly."

Tori was still a little upset. "Are you sure? You don't have to meet me, you should be resting."

Jade waved her off. "Vega, if I wanted to be at my hotel room, I'd be there now. But I wanna be here with you. Now you can either stay there voluntarily, or I can tie you to the seat, and trust me. I'm really good with rope." She smirked.

Tori blushed slightly. "I'll take your word for it." She put her hand over the dark haired beauty's.

Jade brought Tori's hand to her lips and kissed it. "So, what seems to be the problem?"

The police woman sighed, and ran a hand through chocolate locks. "I bagged another dirtbag yesterday. Real lowlife. Have you heard of Antonio "Muggshot" Smith?" She asked.

Jade nodded. "He's the guy that put a blockade around Mesa City, right?"

"Yeah. Such shoddy police work being done that just allowed him to do that so easily. All those people that had to flee their homes..." She trailed off.

Luckily, the waitress came, and seemed to take a liking to Jade.

"What can I get you two to drink?" She asked, winking at the thief.

"I'll just take a water, thanks." She smiled politely.

"I'll have a coffee." Tori said, irked that their waitress was ogling Jade.

"That'll be right out. My name's Candace if you need ANYTHING." She said, smiling widely.

"Anyways, you were saying?" Jade turned back to Tori, who was glaring at Candace's retreating form.

"What? Oh. Anyways, the criminal I'm after, 'Sly Cooper', just throttles him before I have a chance to get him. Sly's a pretty tiny guy, so I have no idea how he managed to knock out two dogs, then get past Muggshot to drop a chandelier on him." She sighed.

"I hate him, but I gotta admit. He's pretty resourceful."

"Not resourceful enough to get past you, it seems. You're always right behind him, by the sound of it." Jade replied.

Tori became angry. "I know! I'm always _just_ behind him. I can never get the jump on him. I just. I'm so frustrated."

Jade rubbed the cop's hand soothingly. "He's gotta slip up one day. And you're always on your A game. You'll get him."

Tori smiled softly. "You think so?"

Jade leaned across the table and kissed her cheek. "I know so."

I feel bad lying to her, Jade thought to herself. But this is clearly hard on her. I need to be a little consoling, at least.

Candace came back shortly with their drinks.

"So what can I get you?" She asked, looking Jade up and down.

Jade remained oblivious. "Can I get a burger and fries?" She asked, handing her menu to the waitress.

"Of course! Good choice." She smiled, brushing her hand against Jade's as she took the menu.

"And you?" She asked Tori, not as interested.

"The same." She said through gritted teeth and handed her menu over.

The waitress left, and they continued to talk until their food came out.

While eating, Jade managed to make Tori feel better, even making her smile and laugh throughout the night.

Once they were done, Jade insisted on paying, and Candace put her number on the bill.

Needless to say, Jade had to drag Tori out of the diner.

 **!**

"How did you not notice her blatantly flirting with you?" Tori asked incredulously. She was driving Jade to her hotel room, ranting about Candace the whole time.

"Because there was a much more beautiful woman in front of me." She smiled and squeezed Tori's hand.

"Turn in here. That's it."

Tori got out and walked Jade to the building. "Well. Be that as it may. She still irked me."

Jade smirked. "Why? We aren't even dating." She stated.

Tori didn't have a comeback, and looked away. "I know."

"So, Tori, I'd like to ask you something." She started, turning her head to look into her eyes.

She pulled a small, rectangular box from her pocket and opened it, revealing a small, silver bracelet.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" She asked.

Tori smiled. "Of course I will." She held her and out, and Jade clipped the bracelet onto her wrist.

She then took her hand and gently pulled her closer, their faces inches apart. Tori's breathing slowed, and she wrapped her arms around Jade's neck.

The thief gave her a second to pull away if she wanted to, but Tori surprised her by surging forward and connecting their lips.

It wasn't passionate, or soft, it was just a typical awkward first kiss. But Jade swore she could feel fireworks exploding from behind her closed eyes. She wrapped her arms around Tori's waist and pulled her closer.

Tori smiled against her lips, but had to disconnect she felt her work phone vibrate in her pocket, and that could only mean one thing. "I've gotta go, babe." She said hesitantly.

Jade groaned, and relaxed her grip. "I understand. Duty calls." She kissed her cheek and slid her hands off.

Tori smiled apologetically, and pecked her lips once more. "I'll text you when I can." She promised.

The darker haired woman smiled. "I'll hold you to that. Drive safe."

After giving her a bear hug, Tori left Jade and headed back to her car, driving back to Arizona.

Jade sighed, and leaned up against the door to the hotel.

What have I gotten myself into?

 **!**

 **Ta-da! They're official! Exciting, yeah?**

 **Hey, for some reason, I can't see any new reviews, I know they're there, but I can't read them. If anybody knows anything about that, send me a message, please!**

 **See ya next chapter!**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey all! Sorry for the delay, I loaned my game out to my girlfriend and we ended up not being able to see each other for a while. I usually write the chapters by pausing every few seconds and writing down what's happened, while keeping it relevant to the story.**

 **Now that excuses are out of the way I'll see ya at the bottom!**

 **!**

After making her way through immense amounts of Haitian swamp gunk, supernatural creatures, and insects debatably larger than her, Jade was ready for two things: to fight Mz. Ruby, and to take a long, hot shower.

Mz. Ruby. The third member of the Fiendish Five, and the infamous Voodoo Priestess.

Born into a amilyof mystics, the other children found her family's practice and her overall voodoo-y vibes a bit...scary. As a result, she grew up alone, and taught herself how to summon the undead to keep her company.

A career in crime allowed an adult Mz. Ruby to punish the world for fearing her as a child. As Chief Mystic for the Fiendish Five, her powers allowed them to break both the laws of man, and nature at the same time. Yet, despite the whirlwind success of her youth, she'd managed to slip into obscurity.

Her last known sighting was said to have been far away from civilization, deep in the Haitian jungle.

Which was why Jade, soggy, grimy, and grumpy as she felt,was still even here in the first place. A woman as powerful as Ruby needed to be stopped, and quickly, before she could use her powers fully.

The thief stood in front of a large gate, near the back of the large camp the priestess had set up. It stood at least twenty feet tall, and was topped off with a torch, one that burned an unnatural purple. On the front were two snake carvings, bent into an 'S' shape, and staring back at her with glowing orange eyes.

"Hey, Bentley, what's with this big, industrial-strength gate here?" She asked, bringing her binocucom up to her eyes. "Mz. Ruby must really be trying to keep something out."

"Or maybe..." She could feel the man squinting at the serpent carvings that adorned the front of it. "She's trying to keep something in!"

Jade chuckled. "It'll be okay, Bentley. After all, giant, man-eating snakes don't exist, right?"

"Well-" She stuffed the binocucom back into her backpack, and tried to put the thought out of her mind. As brave as she boasted she was, Jade was _not_ in love with the idea of being eaten alive by a boa on steroids.

She grabbed onto one of the carvings and tugged, making sure it was well attached to the fence. After it passed inspection, she began to climb up, her mind conjuring images of the two serpents suddenly coming to life and eating her whole, or dragging her under the murky water that seemed to surround her everywhere she went.

It didn't quite help that it was raining, just enough to make every sort of activity involving climbing that much more difficult.

Once she was over the fence, she found that the whole section of the camp that she'd climbed into was covered in water, with trees growing tall out of it. Something, maybe further away than her mind let her think, was causing a ripple in the greenish bog.

Jade swallowed back any sort of fear and grabbed a nearby branch, slowly swinging from one tree to another to avoid finding out just how deep that water really was.

However, her luck seemed to run out when one of the branches she'd been standing on snapped, and she landed with a loud _splash!_ right next to some sort of cave-like structure. It almost looked like a mouth, with branches growing into bars that looked like teeth in front of it. Two torches stood on either side, and a gorgon head adorned the top of it.

She climbed up the teeth-bar-branches, coughing out swamp water and God knows what else, and cursing under her breath. Unbeknownst to her, there were small runes painted onto the branches, and she accidentally smudged them each time she touched one.

She got to some low-hanging vines that were draped along a few nearby trees, and just started pulling herself up to one when a rumble in the cave made her look back.

There, perhaps the largest snake in existence was beating its head against the branched, glaring it's reddish-orange eyes at her all the while. It had to have been a hundred feet long, maybe longer, and was about the width of a minivan. The same red-orange in its eyes decorated its head, creating little diamond patterns. The thing looked like Jade wasn't even big enough to be a snack for it.

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Jade gulped, and scrambled up to the vines just in time for the beast to break out. It snapped at where she was only moments before, and surged forward to try again.

She frantically climbed and ran across the branches, feeling the thing snapping at her heels the whole time.

Jade got to a small stone platform that jutted out from the wall of the camp, and realized it was a dead-end. As she turned around, she gripped her cane tightly, and gritted her teeth, ready to face her death like a woman. She thought back to all the adventures she'd had with her brothers, all the people she'd met, the laughs she'd shared. She imagined pulling off all of their greatest heists, and how she'd always managed to narrowly avoid capture.

As the snake leaned in close to her, she thought of Tori, and how she'd never find out what actually happened to Jade. How Jade would never know if they could even begin to have a future together, or if it just wasn't meant to b-

A broad lick up the side of her face jarred her from her thoughts, and she looked wide-eyed at the monster in front of her. It tilted its head to the side, and seemed to smile at the thief.

"Okay, what the Hell?" Jade blinked in confusion. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm not dead, but aren't you supposed to eat me? You were literally snapping at me a few seconds ago."

The snake shrugged, as if to say, "I don't remember that happening..."

Bentley's muffled voice reached her ears, and she pulled her binocucom out and aimed it at the giant serpent.

"Are you oka- HOLY MOTHER OF SCIENCE THAT THING IS HUGE" Robbie screamed into the mic, making Jade visibly wince.

"What? I wanna see!" She heard Andre's voice in the background, and heard the muffled sounds of Robbie turning the monitor and Andre moving closer.

"DUDE HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?" The bigger man made Jade wince a second time, and she made a mental note to make Robbie install a volume dial on the mic.

"I have no idea. It just came up to me and licked my face." She replied. "I actually think that where it licked it now the cleanest part of my body, to say the least. I'm bathing in bleach when we get home, screw the health warnings."

The beast nudged her hand with its massive head, and she hesitantly ran her hand along it. That seemed to make it happy, and it closed its eyes.

"Maybe it likes you? Where was it when you found it?" Robbie asked.

"Some sort of cave. There were branch-bar things that grew in front of it, and what looked like a Medusa head on top. I climbed up the thing, and this giant snake broke out." She replied, scratching lightly behind where she thought its ear would be.

"Hmm..." Some faint clicking and typing sounds told Jade that Robbie was trying to find a reference to what she'd described.

"Ah! Here it is. According to this article, snakes are often used in voodoo as a sacrifice to the gods. The bigger the snake, the greater the reward. But they needed to house the snake in something beforehand, so they created these holding cages out of nature, and adorned it with runes. Jade, you must've rubbed the runes off when you climbed up it. The snake probably thought you were trying to kill it, so it lashed out. Once it realized you weren't, well..." He trailed off, the effect obvious.

"So does this mean we can keep him?" Jade asked, and the snake lifted its head hopefully.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT." She heard Andre and Robbie protest. The snake, Jade decided to name her (She felt like something with a temper that fiery had to be a woman) Lita, seemed upset at that, and looked down sadly.

"Aww, you hurt her feelings..." Jade cupped Lita's massive cheek and stroked it carefully.

"Those mean old boys said we couldn't keep you, but I can help you get out of here, if you want." Lita's head perked up at this, and she nodded.

Jade smiled. "Do you know where Mz. Ruby is?" The snake cowered back slightly, but nodded.

"I need you to take me to her." Lita shook her head adamantly, and Jade put her hands on her hips.

"Hey now, you're a big, strong snake. Don't let her convince you otherwise," Lita still looked hesitant, so Jade went on. "Besides, I'm gonna fight her, and she'll never be able to hurt you again. I promise."

The snake considered it for a moment, then turned. Jade thought she was leaving, and sighed, trying to figure out where exactly she'd find Mz. Ruby in such a massive place.

However, Lita stopped after a moment, showing Jade that she'd offered a ride on her back to find the voodoo queen.

"You're the best snake I ever met, you know that?" The thief grinned, and climbed aboard.

 **!**

"She's in a giant, prehistoric alligator head." Jade said, mildly shocked.

"It seems that's where your... _friend_...is taking you, and where my supernatural readings are originating from." Robbie replied.

"I believe you, dude. It's just...who sets up camp in a giant skull?" She sat on the back of Lita and pondered aloud. The snake gave an agreeing sound and she stroked her back absentmindedly.

"Voodoo Priestesses hellbent on world domination by means of and undead army?" He offered.

"Wait what? World domination? Undead? You mean like, zombie army?" Jade shivered. Sure, it was cool in movies, but in real life? Not so much.

"If the information I gathered from wire taps throughout the compound are to be believed, tonight is Mange-Les-Morts, or Feeding The Dead. It's supposedly when the viel between the dead and the living are at its weakest, and offerings are brought forth to keep them calm. However, Mz. Ruby plans on using the weakness to create a tear, allowing the dead to pour into our world and do her bidding."

"So we're basically saving the world."

"Basically."

"Cool. Sounds fun."

"You aren't taking this seriously, are you."

"Eh, 50/50."

"Great. We're doomed."

Jade couldn't help but laugh at this. "Relax Bentley. She's going down tonight, I'll have my pages, and we'll be home in time for some serious gaming."

Robbie sighed on the other end, but Jade knew that he trusted her to finish the job. "Fine. Just don't get ripped to shreds by any zombies looking for brains. God knows they won't find any."

"I resent that!"

He chuckled. "Resent it all you want, Sly, it doesn't make it any less true. But seriously, be careful. Mz. Ruby might know how to bring the dead back to life, but I'm somewhat limited in that department."

"Tsk tsk Bentley, I thought you were smarter than that."

"Oh shut it, smartass."

Jade smiled, and looked up. "Seems like my trusty steed had brought me to the wicked witch's lair. I'll be home in time for dinner, mom." She teased, and slid off of Lita.

"Alright, buddy." She turned around and faced the snake. "You've helped me out so much, and I'm so proud of you." Lita puffed her chest out and held her head high.

"I need you to wait here while I deal with her, okay? I'll be out when it's over, and we can both get out of here." Lita nodded, and licked Jade once more.

"I'll take it you're wishing me luck, and not that you're thinking of eating me." Jade wiped her face as she said that. Lita just winked in response.

"Awesome." And with that, she entered the mouth of the head.

 **!**

Upon entering, Jade found that the skull itself lead into an underground temple. Mz. Ruby stood in the middle of the temple, grinning madly at Jade as soon as she entered.

Mz. Ruby looked like a stark contrast to Jade's pale skin, her own deep brown shining in the glow of the torches around her. Her black, curly hair was held back by a red bandana, and her nose and both ears were adorned with gold hoops that matched the gold necklace she wore, one with a large diamond in the middle. She wore a purple tank top that stopped a little abover her belly button, showing off quite a bit of pudge, and a blood red ruby belly button ring. Her skirt stopped at her knees, and was completely black, looking to be made from crow feathers. Rings covered her fingers, and all she wore around her feet were twin gold anklets.

"Mmmm." She purred though her voice sounded scratchy, almost like a boy in the middle of puberty. "I could feel that West vibe coming. Most distastefully bad juju."

Jade crossed her arms, stopping ten or so feet away from the priestess.

"Yeah well, you give me the creeps too, lady." She gestured behind her. "Cooking up an army of ghosts isn't a very neighborly past time, you know."

Mz. Ruby chuckled, her grin widening even further. "Oh Jade, I see your mouth a-movin', but all I hear is _Blah, blah, blah!_ " Unknown to Jade, Mz. Ruby began to summon fire, small sparks of flame dancing at her fingertips. "Well, if jaws need to flap, then let them flap!"

She threw her fire at Jade, the same unnatural purple she saw before. Jade barely had time to dodge, and the fire hit her on the right arm as she dove out of the way. She tumbled messily to the side, and swatted the flame out with her left hand.

It stung about as bad as someone would expect if fire were to be hurled at them, and the skin underneath her blue top was an angry red color, except for the edges, where it looked like it had gotten under her skin. The veins around the wound on the edges glowed the same purple that the fire did, and pulsed every few seconds. The pulses shot pain throughout the arm, and it felt like Jade's whole arm was on fire.

"That all you got?" She grinned back, hiding the pain she felt.

"My voodoo fire is something special, sweetie." Mz. Ruby laughed. "I know just how much pain you're in, West. And it'll only get worse. There's only one cure."

A voice in Jade's head whispered it to her. _Death._

She stood and grabbed her cane. Her right arm was immobile, but Jade was left-handed, so she could still fight fairly well.

"If you think I'm just going to lie down and let you hurt more people, you've got another thing comin'." She growled out, and charged at her.

Mz. Ruby flicked out another ball of fire, and Jade dodged out of the way, this time coming back unscathed. She advanced on the priestess once more, hitting her right hand hard and finding satisfaction in the loud _crack!_ she heard.

Mz. Ruby twirled out of the way, surprisingly nimble on her feet, and ignored her now broken right hand.

"Get back here!" Jade growled. "You can't run forever."

She grinned once more. "Quite true. Why don't we partake in a little dance?"

Jade pulled a rope out of her bag and tied her right arm to her body. It was useless to her, and would only get in the way if she were trying to dodge or move as nimbly as her opponent.

She watched Mz. Ruby warily as she did so, though she seemed to have allowed the thief to do this in preparation for their 'dance'.

"Alright. Let's dance." No sooner were the words out of Jade's mouth then she found fire being thrown at her. It was some sort of pattern. Ruby lunged left to throw, so Jade dodged to the right. She stepped forward.

Ruby shot above her, so Jade ducked, swiping her other leg around to step closer.

She shot to the right, then to the left, then below her, and Jade dodged, jumping over the last ball and swiping across Mz. Ruby's face with her cane.

She stumbled back, and Jade took the opportunity to sweep her legs out from under her. Ruby landed hard, losing consciousness, and Jade brought her cane down hard on one of her legs, snapping it and preventing her from moving quickly. The thief considered the battle won, and looked around for her pages. She found them rolled up neatly in a skull on a large alter, and slid them into her pack.

She walked back over to Mz. Ruby with some rope, and leaned down to tie her up when her eyes suddenly snapped open. Fire blazed in both her eyes and her hands, and with one, she engulfed both of Jade's legs in fire. With the other, she shot straight up into the roof of the skull temple, which shook and rumbled dangerously.

Jade cried out in pain and fell, her legs useless to her. The skull crashed into the water, and began filling up. Mz. Ruby grinned once again at her.

"We'll have to continue this dance in the afterlife, Mz. West. Though I must warn you, I have more of an advantage there than I ever would here."

And then, Jade was engulfed in water.

She tried uselessly to swim using her left arm, and tried to find something to latch her cane onto something that was above the murky water. Mz. Ruby simply laid back, her grin still in place, as the water rushed over her. Jade saw her take a deep breath before she was covered.

Jade on the other hand, tried to find some way to get out, some way to be free, but the skull sunk deeper and deeper into the swamp, and with it, the West that would never be avenged and the last of the clan.

 **!**

 **Well. There ya go. That's it. I'll post maybe one or two more chapters detailing the aftermath of her death, but the story is officially over.**

 **I realize that it's a bit (okay, a lot) AU, but I saw the skull so precariously placed and I thought to myself: How is it not falling? If I were a villain, I'd much rather die than go to prison for the rest of my life.**

 **And for that matter, God help anyone who's trying to kill me or capture me. I love my freedom too much.**

 **Freedom to walk, freedom to run, freedom to write stories where I kill off the main character and leave everyone emotionally unstable.**

 **And the freedom to absolutely fuck with the people reading my stories.**

 **I always love to do that, I'm sorry. I'm a total asshole, you can ask any of my friends. I am pretty much Jade West in a nutshell: A cold, calculating, heartless bitch who also may or may not actually be a good person sometimes.**

 **For those of you still reading, I apologize for messing with your heads. I also apologize for all of the late updates, and I thank anyone and everyone who's still here, even as I type out what may just be the longest author's note in history.**

 **It could be that I have nothing better to do.**

 **I have some free time, and I chose it writing some fanfiction that like, 12 people read, though you 12 are the coolest and most awesome 12 on this site.**

 **Let's see, I made an AO3 account! It's got some Dragon Age fanfiction on it, another one of my favorite video games, so. It's also on my account here if you wanna read it.**

 **Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked.**

 **Where was I?**

 **Oh yeah.**

 **I mean, jeez, why would someone type this much? It's almost like I've got something to hide afterwards, something that the casual reader might not see, might miss if they just see an author's note and assume that it's the end of the story.**

 **But not you, it seems.**

 **No you, dear reader, are quite the smart little cookie. That or you seriously have nothing better to do than to read me wasting page space to conceal the actual ending of the chapter.**

 **Either way, carry on, love.**

 **!**

Lita sat outside the skull, nervous for her new friend. This mysterious woman (she could tell by the scent. Women have a much spicier scent.) had saved her from dying, and was now in there to help her gain her freedom.

Yes, she was also doing other stuff in there, like saving the world and avenging her family, but those were semantics, and Lita did not much care for semantics.

So, of course, when the skull suddenly fell into the water, her nerves turned into fear. Did her friend have gills? Maybe she did. The snake gave her a moment to bob up to the surface, and perhaps show Lita her gills.

After that moment went by, Lita suddenly remembered.

Humans don't have gills. They have lungs. Lungs need air.

She immediately dove under the water, her keen eyes able to see the opening of the temple. Once inside, she spotted two figures, her friend trying uselessly and weakly to find a way out, and Mz. Ruby just laying there.

Lita contemplated just leaving Mz. Ruby, but shook her head. That would make her no better than the priestess if she just let her die. She gently grabbed both of the bodies in her teeth and brought them to the surface, laying them carefully on a soft patch of grass.

Distant voices came closer, though she vaguely recognized them coming from the human. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but didn't immediately go after them.

Two more humans emerged from the jungle, not even noticing Lita at first. The smaller one rushed to her friend's side and began pushing on her chest. Lita thought that he was trying to hurt her, and hissed angrily, pushing him away harshly.

The larger one stepped up. "W-woah, man. Chill." He put up his hands. This one had the same skin color as Mz. Ruby, but seemed to be more afraid of Lita than she.

"We see that you saved our friend." The smaller one spoke quietly, adjusting some black contraption on his face. "We just need to help her breathe."

Lita hovered over her friend. She could breathe just fine. There was plenty of air around.

"There's water in her lungs. That's why she's not waking up. She's still drowning. We have to get the water out." The small man explained.

Water in your lungs? Lita didn't understand. However, she sensed the urgency in the man's words, and decided that if he tried anything, she could kill him quickly.

She moved away, and he immediately set to work, pushing on her chest once more.

After a few more tries, her friend coughed hard, water trickling out of her mouth. She weakly turned over and propped her upper body up on her free arm, spitting more and more out.

The small human did the same for Mz. Ruby, after tying her up. He pulled out some papers from his pocket and murmured softly in her ear. She spasmed, and Lita could sense the magic slowly trickling out of her.

"You...you saved my life." Her friend smiled weakly up at her. Lita leaned down and rested her head next to the human, who sat up and stroked her with her arm.

"I think that you should come back with us." She said, and Lita's head perked up. Come back? Go with her friend and these men to their home? Lita would have friends?

"I dunno, Jade..." The larger man protested weakly.

"She's really sweet, Andre, and I think she'd fit right in." She looked back at him pleadingly. He sighed.

"But she can't stay around the beach. Too many people. She'd draw a lot of attention." He crossed his arms.

Her friend, Jade, was silent for a moment, and Lita felt her heart sink. She should have known not to get her hopes up.

"What about the island we passed? The one on the way to Raleigh's? She could stay there, and we could visit every week or so." Jade suggested. Lita looked to the other two humans pleadingly. She'd made her first and only friend. She wanted to keep her.

"We'd have to buy the island to make sure nobody disturbed her, but we have enough put away to buy 50 islands, at least."

The man rolled his eyes, but smiled. "I guess. Fine. She can come with us." Lita perked up, and licked his cheek, which turned out to be his whole face.

"Aww, nasty man! I just took a shower!"

 **!**

 **And that's the true ending, ladies and germs. Sorry for being an ass, but I...got incredibly bored and saw an opportunity.**

 **I was serious though, thank you to those who have stuck by me and my stories. I love you all, and the support you give me is amazing.**

 **See ya in the next chapter!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Hello! I have no updates, and nothin' much to say. See ya at the bottom!**

 **!**

The gang ended up buying the island, as well as a plethora of new animals for it so that Lita could hunt. They left, but not without promising to be back at least once a week, unless they went out for some missions.

Jade still couldn't move her arm, or her legs, and was confined to a wheelchair, with Robbie applying a salve said to cure the ailment to the parts that got hit. It needed to sit on the arm and legs continuously, so she wore bandages from her right shoulder to her elbow, and from her knees to her feet.

"I feel like a mummy." She commented while Robbie was wrapping her up one day.

"You aren't a mummy." He replied. "Mummies don't talk nearly as much. Although, I could put some gauze around your mouth, it'd certainly make this place a helluva lot more peaceful."

They weren't in their usual hideout, rather an apartment that they used to store things, and the address that they used if they ever needed one. Their hideout wasn't exactly wheelchair accessable, and Jade didn't want them to make it so if she was only going to be in it for another few days, if the salve that Bentley made was working.

He had just finished wrapping her when there was a knock at the door.

"I got it." She called, silencing Robbie's protests with a glare, and used the small analog stick to get to the door. She opened it to find an angry Latina, who immediately delated upon seeing the goth's current state. Jade knew why she was here. They'd been dating for a few months now, almost 6, and they'd text at least once a week. However, Jade had gone dark, trying to recuperate.

"Hey." Tori said after a beat. Jade smiled as if nothing was wrong, like she wasn't in the state she was in, and moved aside to let her in.

"Hey yourself. Come on in." Tori walked in and shut the door behind her, pointedly not staring at Jade.

"Can I get you anything?" She asked casually, turning herself around.

"I feel like I need to ask you that." The cop sat down on the couch, and Jade wheeled herself in front of her.

"Oh, me? Nah I'm fine." She smiled and ran a hand through her hair nervously.

"So what happened?" Tori asked.

"Car accident." Jade smiled weakly. "I was driving home from the exhibit and a drunk driver pulled out in front of me. I'm okay though, obviously."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tori stood up and crossed her arms. "I could've helped you, or-"

"You couldn't, babe." Jade interrupted gently. She took her hands gently. "You had work, and I'm not about to ask you to take off when I can handle it."

Tori looked like she wanted to object, but sat back down. Robbie and Andre casually walked in, on their way to the kitchen, while eyeing the cop while she wasn't looking and shooting Jade a thumbs up at the same time. She smiled.

"Who are those two?" Tori asked lowly.

"Those are my brothers I told you about." Jade responded. She'd told Tori about her past, minus the book that held her namesake. She'd felt bad enough that she was keeping the biggest piece of herself secret, so she'd decided to be as open and honest as she could.

"Oh, Robbie and Andrew?" Andre's eyes raised, and he gave the 'really?' look.

Jade smiled. "Andre. But yeah. That's them." Tori blushed lightly and waved at them.

Robbie had a mouthful of pizza, and tried to say 'hello!', and ended up spitting pizza everwhere. Andre rolled his eyes and pulled a napkin from one of the cupboards, which Robbie took sheepishly.

The Latina chuckled, and turned back to her. "So they're taking care of you, then?"

Jade nodded. "They aren't exactly five star nurses, but I'm not dead yet, so."

"That can be arranged!" Andre shot back.

"My girlfriend's a cop."

Tori raised her hands innocently. "I didn't see anything."

The thief smiled. "Thanks babe. I love the support."

"Of course." She winked. "So..." The cop bit her lip.

"So..." Jade leaned in, waiting for her to continue.

"Can we go somewhere else? I wanted to talk in private." She nodded, and waved for her to follow.

They entered Jade's bedroom, and she motioned for the other woman to sit.

"What's up?" She leaned back in her chair.

"Why didn't you call me and tell me? I didn't hear from you all week. I know that seems a bit clingy but..."

She put a hand on the tanner woman's. One of the first stories she'd told Jade while they were dating was when a crazy criminal stalked their family because her dad put him in jail. She'd finished it off with, "I've put a lot of people behind bars, Jade. It just worries me."

"I understand. I didn't want to get you upset, or make you lose sight of what you were working on." She smiled. "You work really hard, and you're a damned good cop at that. I didn't need you worrying about me in the back of your mind about me and slipping up, or hurting yourself."

Tori studied her for a moment, making sure the other woman wasn't lying. Ater a beat, she bit her lip and stood.

Jade continued to hold her hand, and Tori sat down gently in Jade's lap, and rested her head on her shoulders.

"I'm always gonna worry about you." She said, her voice small and timid, much different rom the strong woman she always saw.

"And I'll always be here, Tor." She replied, stroking her hair with her good hand.

Jade knew that her words were true, but she didn't know how long Tori would want her to be around.

 **!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Just a bit of a disclaimer, I'm not asian. I'm native american. The name of the villain in this one means "Fire metal". It might be "Deep fried rice". I dunno. This is what google said.**

 **!**

The gang headed out, this time, straight to China, where 'The Panda King' resided.

The Panda King was born Huojin Sung, a penniless child to a pair of poor farmers. He was fascinated by fireworks that the rich nobles would set off every New Year, and would travel ten miles or so up hill in order to watch them clearly.

He spent a decade honing and studying the rockets, trying to master the art to bring them something beautiful.

But when he tried to show his fireworks to them, the sent him away, not being able to see past his shabby clothes.

Humiliated, Sung used the very tools of his art to punish those who had shunned him, and used them instead for crime.

The Fiendish Five recruited him as their demolitions expert, and from then on, his explosive touch became feared worldwide. He was last known to be perfecting a new art form high in the unstable Kun Lun Mountains in western China, in his impenetrable fortress.

The fortress in which Jade was standing in now.

The fortress in which an _angry_ Jade was standing in now.

The reason for her anger is that when she was climbing the large mountain, she witnessed a statue of the Panda King fire off some heavy duty fireworks into the mountainside, sparking an avalanche that buried an entire village under tons of freezing snow.

Hundreds of people are hurt, dead, or just freezing because this waste of space had an inadequacy complex, and sensitive feelings that some assholes hurt years ago.

Does it sound like Jade's angry? Because Jade's angry.

It was one thing to kill her parents, something that affected her deeply, but she could concede and see that they were just two people. Two people that didn't really matter to anyone but Jade.

But to bury an entire village because, what Jade found out from hearing over the intercom he has set up (and to the translator chip Bentley recently installed in her earpiece), they didn't pay his insanely high extortion- excuse her, _protection_ money?

This guy wasn't just a thief. He wasn't just a member of the Fiendish Five. He wasn't just someone who killed two people twelve years ago.

No, Huojin Sung was a monster. A monster who hasn't changed at all, and a monster that needs to be stopped.

He was different from the other three she'd gone after.

Raleigh just sunk the ships; he'd fish the crew out of the ocean and send them towards civilization while they were unconscious. Muggshot just looked tough, his file said that, besides the West's, he'd never actually killed anyone. And even Mz. Ruby, the coldblooded voodoo queen, was more interested in the dead than the living.

Sung just killed to kill. That's what made him despicable, and that's the reason Jade felt anger and determination burning in her as she stood in the fortress.

"Nice job breaking into the compound, Sly." Robbie's voice spoke into her earpiece. "The Panda King looks to be at the top of the giant statue of himself, where there's a temple at the top. It doesn't look climable, but I think I've figured out a way to get up there."

"What's the catch?" She asked.

"The catch is that it's obstructed by that reinforced ceiling hatch you're standing next to."

Jade looked at the hatch, then looked around. "Think I could use some fireworks to open it up?"

Robbie thought for a moment. "Given the devastating punch his particular brand of firework packs, theoretically speaking, it seems plausible."

He went on. "Once inside the hatch, there's a secret passageway that leads up the inside of the statue, to Huojin Sung himself."

Jade nodded. "Got it. He'll be taken care of within the hour."

She hung up, surprisingly devoid of any and all jokes she could've made. This guy seemed monstrous, and taking him down was something that Jade took very seriously.

She looked to her left, where a large temple seemed to be. Jade hopped down from the roof she was standing on and made her way over to the side of it.

 **!**

She peaked in through the window, and found eight or so people inside, balancing on swaying wooden poles and twirling them back and forth.

 _This isn't a temple at all,_ she thought to herself. _This is a training facility._

It only made her hate Huojin that much more.

Towards the back of the temple, there was a large metal dragon, the fireplace for the facility. It looked angry, and its mouth was open in a large roar, where a fire was lit to heat up the grounds.

Jade slipped in through the window and snuck behind the dragon, though she was certain she could walk straight in through the front doors and the students wouldn't notice her at all.

She hooked her cane to the top of the dragon and pulled herself up above it, then looked around, having a better view of the facility.

A large gong was across from her, and above that, a rope leading out of the compound, to another part of the mountain. The only thing in between her and the gong besides air was a large lantern, with a large wooden circle attached to it. It looked like it had no other purpose than aesthetics, however, and Jade was wary about stepping onto it.

There seemed to be no other way around, however, and if she was going to get a crack at the Panda King, she was going to have to take some risks.

The blue-clad woman jumped from the head of the statue and landed on the wooden circle. It began to tip over with her weight, so she grabbed the rope above it and sort of straddled the lantern to even things out a bit. Other than a little bit of protest from the wood, everything seemed to be okay.

Jade swung the lantern back and forth, building up some momentum. Once she felt it was enough, she jumped to the platform the gong was on.

While she missed it with her body, she managed to hook onto it with her cane, and dangled there for a moment, her grip on her heirloom tight and vice-like. She could feel her cane slipping, so she scrambled up the platform quickly, and slid underneath the gong to hide herself.

She found where the rope was tied to the platform, and hooked her cane onto it, using it as a zipline out of the place.

She saw a guard patrolling the place she was to land. He was a big guy, and the twin daggers on his back looked wickedly sharp. Jade decided he was not someone she wanted to mess with head on. She pushed her feet in front of her, and whistled.

The guard looked up just in time for her feet to make contact with his face, and his head to make contact with the stone behind him. He crumpled to the floor, and Jade tied him up with some rope after pocketing his daggers.

A little ways away, there was a sort of gazebo, with a hole in the roof to get to the top. If Jade had to guess, she'd think that this was some other sort of training, getting to the top of the gazebo without a ladder or stairs of any sort.

The thief luckily had the ultimate tool for climbing with her. She jumped, and hooked her cane to the edge of the hole, then shimmied up it like she would a rope. Once at the top, there was a small flagpole bearing the symbol of the temple on it, what Jade assumed was another test. She climbed easily up the pole, and landed on a snowy platform under what looked to be a building with a large metal bird protruding from it.

The snow came up to her knees, and she had to do this awkward sort of high step to get to the bird.

Its neck was extended, and from the length of it, it looked like a cross between a snake and a bird. It also looked pretty sturdy, and she latched her cane onto its neck.

After testing to see if it could hold her weight, Jade swung back and forth, getting a little higher each time. When she was going fast enough, she let go at the height of her swing and landed deftly on the bird-snake's neck, grabbing her cane before it fell.

At the top of the structure were some fireworks, and she scooped them up, hauling it off with her to the main part of the fortress.

 **!**

The fireworks had been set off, and Jade was just about to jump through when a voice stopped her.

"Freeze, rat!" Tori called out, leveling her sigts on Jade.

The thief turned around and smiled. "How can I freeze when my heart warms at the very sight of you?" She winked **.**

"Shut up, punk." The cop growled out. "I don't know what you're doing in China, but I'm sure it can't be good for whoever owns this place."

Jade crossed her arms. "You must only have eyes for me if you're too blind to see what's going on around here."

Tori cocked her shock pistol. "All I see is a pathetic thief who's escaped justice for far too long."

The paler woman scoffed. "I'm proud to be a thief. Especially when I'm stealing from a vicious extortionist and murderer like Huojin Sung."

She went on. "Open your eyes 'detective', these quaint temples are a front for an illegal explosives factory."

"Don't try to confuse the issue. You criminals are all the same and none of you can escape justice." And with that, she shot at Jade, who immediately dove for cover in the temple. She burst through the wall that hid the entrance to the secret passageway, Tori hot on her heels, firing shot after shot at her.

Jade ran as fast as she could, and saw the end of the passageway ahead of her. It was a large, reinforced metal door at the top of some steps, with a railing on either side of it, and she prayed silently that it was unlocked.

She got there with Tori seconds behind her, and pulled the heavy door, trying to get it open.

A shot right next to her tugged the door back a couple inches, and Tori leveled her sights once more.

"Give it up, Sly Cooper." She growled out.

Jade smiled and held up her hands.

"Ya got me, Ms. Fox."

The surprise on Tori's face quickly faded back into her usual scowl as she approached the thief to handcuff her.

However, once she'd pulled the cuffs out, Jade whirled around and knocked the pistol out of her hands. She then grabbed the cuffs and attached one to Tori's wrist, then the other to the railing next to them.

"You bastard! Take these off immediately!" Tori seethed once Jade stole the keys off of her.

"I will. Maybe. Depends on how I'm feeling." She winked and pulled the door open, then slipped inside and shut it. After she locked it, she slipped the key under it to Tori.

Her worries that the cop might not be able to reach the key were put to rest when she heard a pounding on the door.

With a smile, Jade continued on to the temple.

 **!**

Jade found Huojin Sung in the middle of the temple. He was a, well, a fat man, though similar to sumo wrestlers, Jade was willing to be a large portion of that was muscle. He wore no shirt, despite the temple having pillars instead of walls, and his black hair was in a tight bun. The only item of clothing he seemed to be wearing was a pair of red shorts with yellow flames decorating the sides, and a red belt around the waistband that flowed in the breeze every time he bounced from foot to foot.

"I see you carry the cane of the notorious West thief clan." The Panda King spoke, his voice a deep monotone.

"Have you come here for revenge? To steal back the Thievius Victorious?"

Jade crossed her arms. "That _was_ my plan at first, but now I'm more interested in putting and end to your avalanche extortion racket."

He tilted his head to the side. "Why should you care if I bury a few worthless villages in snow? You are a thief, just like me."

She shook her head and planted her fists on her hips. "No, that's only half-right. I _am_ a thief, from a long line of master thieves, while you...you're just a frustrated firework artist turned homicidal pyromaniac."

The Panda King clenched his fists. "Insolent child! You shall pay dearly for your disrespect!"

He stopped bouncing for a moment and put his fists together in front of him. "Still, to honor your West ancestry, I will send you to your death with the beauty of my new firework techique..."

He hit his fists together, and they caught fire. "Flame-Fu!"

Huojin jumped to one side, kicking a strip of flames towards Jade, who dodged it and began to move closer to him. He kept shooting stream after stream of fire at her, and shekept narrowly avoiding the flames, the faint burns on her arm and legs stinging slightly from the heat of the fire.

Once she got within striking distance, she hit anything she thought would hurt: his legs, his arms, his head, etc.

Huojin seemed to ignore it, raising a hand in the air and screaming, "Fiery Wheel!" Before he spun quickly on his head and brought the same arm around, swiping at Jade's legs.

She jumped to avoid the attack, and he used this to his advantage, using his large belly to bounce her away from him, where he continued his onslaught of flame.

She managed to get close once more, and this time, he brought out a new technique.

"Palms of Thunder!" He smacked the ground where she stood seconds before with his hands, and flames spread out a good few feet from the starting point. She used his new stance to knee him in the face, and blood poured from his nose.

Other than spitting some blood out of his mouth and wiping his nose, he seemed unaffected, and backhanded her away from him.

Jade recovered quickly, and dodged the fireball he sent her way. As she got close once more, a plan formulated in her mind.

She kept her distance, maintaining a few feet between them, until he called out what she was looking for.

"Palms of Thunder!" He yelled again, and right as he smacked his hands on the ground, she jumped and brought both of her feet down on his hands with as much orce as she could manage.

He pulled back, and she grabbed his ankle with her cane, pulling harshly to both dislocate it and to bring him to the ground.

As she stood atop him, He looked up at her neutrally.

"Your skill with that cane is unparalleled." He observed. She nodded, and brought her foot down on his head, knocking him unconscious. She tied him up quickly, and searched the place or her pages, finding them under one of the statues adorning the temple.

Robbie's voice filled her ears. "Sly! I did a cross analysis of the metal used in that reinforced metal hatch, and it turns out it can only be found in one place. The Krakarov volcano in Russia. That's got to be where we'll find the fifth member of the Fiendish Five. So let's go!"

 **!**

 **Well, that's another chapter. I can tell you now that there will be two more chapters, and that'll be the end of this story. For those of you who know the Sly Cooper series, however, you know that this is far from the end of this series. Shoot, I still have 3 more games to go through!**


	11. Chapter 10

**!**

Jade knocked on the door of Tori's apartment, and the Latina greeted her warmly, wearing some sweatpants and a tank top.

They'd officially been dating for 6 months, and they decided that, instead of making a huge fuss about it, and since both of their jobs kept them away from one another, they'd stay in, watch a movie, and have a nice night with one another.

"I brought a movie." Jade smiled.

Tori grimaced. "The last time you said that, you brought The Scissoring, and I couldn't sleep for a week."

Jade's smile widened into a grin, and she stepped inside, kissing her girlfriend softly on the cheek.

"But it was adorable!" Tori sent her a glare. "To you, maybe. I was clinging to you like a lifeline."

"I know." The thief wrapped her arms around her waist. "That's why I picked it."

"Ass."

"I'm a cute ass."

"You have a cute ass, too."

She grinned. "Don't you wanna know what I brought?"

Tori leaned into her and rested her head on the taller woman's shoulder. "That requires you to move, and I'm comfy."

Jade laughed, and scooped the other woman up in her arms. She sat down on the couch, and ran a hand through her hair. Tori sighed in content.

"50 First Dates." Jade said finally.

Tori sat up. "But you hate romantic comedies. You said they were unrealistic and love stories aren't that perfect ever."

She nodded. "I know what I said. And yeah, I do hate them. But you love them, and..." She bit her lip and looked down, playing with the cop's fingers.

"And..?" Tori looked worriedly back at her, lifting her face gently to meet her eyes.

"And I love you, so...there." Jade nodded. "My logic is practically infallible."

The tanner woman smiled widely, and kissed her girlfriend soundly on the lips. "Well, I love you, too. So there."

Jade grinned, and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I think I can live with that."

Tori beamed, and laid her head back in the crook of Jade's neck. "Good. 'Cuz you aren't going anywhere for at least the next 24 hours."

"Is that an order, officer?" Jade purred playfully.

"You bet your ass it is."

"There's only one problem with that."

"Shhhhh. No there's not."

"But-"

"Shhhhhhhhhhh."

"How am I going to load the movie if I can't go anywhere?"

"...Goddamn it."

 **!**

True to her word, Jade didn't go anywhere, after loading the movie, of course, without her girlfriend's permission. She ran her hands delicately through Tori's hair, and the other woman ended up falling asleep halfway through the movie.

Jade turned the movie off, and laid down on the couch, stretching out both her and Tori's bodies and getting a better angle to cuddle.

Once she shifted positions, Tori automatically cuddled into her side, clinging onto the thief's t-shirt in her sleep.

She murmured softly, nothing intelligent, just mindless sounds as she dreamed, with Jade gently tracing patterns along her cheeks and whispering sweet things in her ear to help her have good dreams.

Jade thought about this moment. Realistically speaking, she couldn't hide who she was forever, and Tori would find out eventually. It could potentially ruin Jade's life, and throw her in jail for the rest of it.

If she wanted to be free, she needed to end things.

But the more Jade thought about it, the more she realized that she didn't _want_ to be free. Not if that meant Tori wasn't a part of her life.

Tori had been hunting her since Jade was just a petty thief, robbing small stores in America that were owned by corrupt people, and she herself was just another beat cop.

The more she followed the thief, however, the more arrests she herself made, and the more notoriety it brought Jade, making them both famous and infamous, respectively

Now, Jade was a world-class master thief, and Tori was the only cop in the world that could ever catch her.

The more and more Jade thought about it, the more and more this burden of lying to Tori weighed down on her, the more she _wanted_ to be caught.

She meant what she said to the woman. She loved her dearly, loved her passion, her temper, her determination.

But in the months that they'd gotten closer, Jade got to know her other side.

She loved the sleepy, half-awake Tori that made no sense. She loved the look of confusion on her face, the way her nose would scrunch up, when she tried to read something without her glasses.

She loved how tough she made herself out to be, yet when they were alone, how cuddly and soft she actually was.

Jade loved everything about the other woman, and feared for the day that the truth might come to light.

Because that would be the day that part of Jade would die.

 **!**

 **I know it was a little dramatic there at the end, but I do hope you enjoyed!**


End file.
